Chapter 52
FROM Little Britain, I went, with my cheque in my pocket, to Miss Skiffins's brother, the accountant; and Miss Skiffins's brother, the accountant, going straight to Clarriker's and bringing Clarriker to me, I had the great satisfaction of concluding that arrangement. It was the only good thing I had done, and the only completed thing I had done, since I was first apprised of my great expectations.
Clarriker informing me on that occasion that the affairs of the House were steadily progressing, that he would now be able to establish a small branch-house in the East which was much wanted for the extension of the business, and that Herbert in his new partnership capacity would go out and take charge of it, I found that I must have prepared for a separation from my friend, even though my own affairs had been more settled. And now indeed I felt as if my last anchor were loosening its hold, and I should soon be driving with the winds and waves.
But, there was recompense in the joy with which Herbert would come home of a night and tell me of these changes, little imagining that he told me no news, and would sketch airy pictures of himself conducting Clara Barley to the land of the Arabian Nights, and of me going out to join them (with a caravan of camels, I believe), and of our all going up the Nile and seeing wonders. Without being sanguine as to my own part in these bright plans, I felt that Herbert's way was clearing fast, and that old Bill Barley had but to stick to his pepper and rum, and his daughter would soon be happily provided for.
We had now got into the month of March. My left arm, though it presented no bad symptoms, took in the natural course so long to heal that I was still unable to get a coat on. My right arm was tolerably restored; - disfigured, but fairly serviceable.
On a Monday morning, when Herbert and I were at breakfast, I received the following letter from Wemmick by the post.
`Walworth. Burn this as soon as read. Early in the week, or say Wednesday, you might do what you know of, if you felt disposed to try it. Now burn.'
When I had shown this to Herbert and had put it in the fire - but not before we had both got it by heart - we considered what to do. For, of course my being disabled could now be no longer kept out of view.
`I have thought it over, again and again,' said Herbert, `and I think I know a better course than taking a Thames waterman. Take Startop. A good fellow, a skilled hand, fond of us, and enthusiastic and honourable.'
I had thought of him, more than once.
`But how much would you tell him, Herbert?'
`It is necessary to tell him very little. Let him suppose it a mere freak, but a secret one, until the morning comes: then let him know that there is urgent reason for your getting Provis abroad and away. You go with him?'
`No doubt.'
`Where?'
It had seemed to me, in the many anxious considerations I had given the point, almost indifferent what port we made for - Hamburg, Rotterdam, Antwerp - the place signified little, so that he was got out of England. Any foreign steamer that fell in our way and would take us up, would do. I had always proposed to myself to get him well down the river in the boat; certainly well beyond Gravesend, which was a critical place for search or inquiry if suspicion were afoot. As foreign steamers would leave London at about the time of high-water, our plan would be to get down the river by a previous ebb-tide, and lie by in some quiet spot until we could pull off to one. The time when one would be due where we lay, wherever that might be, could be calculated pretty nearly, if we made inquiries beforehand.
Herbert assented to all this, and we went out immediately after breakfast to pursue our investigations. We found that a steamer for Hamburg was likely to suit our purpose best, and we directed our thoughts chiefly to that vessel. But we noted down what other foreign steamers would leave London with the same tide, and we satisfied ourselves that we knew the build and colour of each. We then separated for a few hours; I, to get at once such passports as were necessary; Herbert, to see Startop at his lodgings. We both did what we had to do without any hindrance, and when we met again at one o'clock reported done. I, for my part, was prepared with passports; Herbert had seen Startop, and he was more than ready to join.
Those two should pull a pair of oars, we settled, and I would steer; our charge would be sitter, and keep quiet; as speed was not our object, we should make way enough. We arranged that Herbert should not come home to dinner before going to Mill Pond Bank that evening; that he should not go there at all, to-morrow evening, Tuesday; that he should prepare Provis to come down to some Stairs hard by the house, on Wednesday, when he saw us approach, and not sooner; that all the arrangements with him should be concluded that Monday night; and that he should be communicated with no more in any way, until we took him on board.
These precautions well understood by both of us, I went home.
On opening the outer door of our chambers with my key, I found a letter in the box, directed to me; a very dirty letter, though not ill-written. It had been delivered by hand (of course since I left home), and its contents were these:
`If you are not afraid to come to the old marshes to-night or tomorrow night at Nine, and to come to the little sluice-house by the limekiln, you had better come. If you want information regarding your uncle Provis, you had much better come and tell no one and lose no time. You must come alone. Bring this with you.'
I had had load enough upon my mind before the receipt of this strange letter. What to do now, I could not tell. And the worst was, that I must decide quickly, or I should miss the afternoon coach, which would take me down in time for to-night. To-morrow night I could not think of going, for it would be too close upon the time of the flight. And again, for anything I knew, the proffered information might have some important bearing on the flight itself.
If I had had ample time for consideration, I believe I should still have gone. Having hardly any time for consideration - my watch showing me that the coach started within half and hour - I resolved to go. I should certainly not have gone, but for the reference to my Uncle Provis; that, coming on Wemmick's letter and the morning's busy preparation, turned the scale.
It is so difficult to become clearly possessed of contents of almost any letter, in a violent hurry, that I had to read this mysterious epistle again, twice, before its injunction to me to be secret got mechanically into my mind. Yielding to it in the same mechanical kind of way, I left a note in pencil for Herbert, telling him that as I should be so soon going away, I knew not for how long, I had decided to hurry down and back, to ascertain for myself how Miss Havisham was faring. I had then barely time to get my great-coat, lock up the chambers, and make for the coach-office by the short by-ways. If I had taken a hackney-chariot and gone by the streets, I should have missed my aim; going as I did, I caught the coach just as it came out of the yard. I was the only inside passenger, jolting away knee-deep in straw, when I came to myself.
For, I really had not been myself since the receipt of the letter; it had so bewildered me ensuing on the hurry of the morning. The morning hurry and flutter had been great, for, long and anxiously as I had waited for Wemmick, his hint had come like a surprise at last. And now, I began to wonder at myself for being in the coach, and to doubt whether I had sufficient reason for being there, and to consider whether I should get out presently and go back, and to argue against ever heeding an anonymous communication, and, in short, to pass through all those phases of contradiction and indecision to which I suppose very few hurried people are strangers. Still, the reference to Provis by name, mastered everything. I reasoned as I had reasoned already without knowing it - if that be reasoning - in case any harm should befall him through my not going, how could I ever forgive myself!
It was dark before we got down, and the journey seemed long and dreary to me who could see little of it inside, and who could not go outside in my disabled state. Avoiding the Blue Boar, I put up at an inn of minor reputation down the town, and ordered some dinner. While it was preparing, I went to Satis House and inquired for Miss Havisham; she was still very ill, though considered something better.
My inn had once been a part of an ancient ecclesiastical house, and I dined in a little octagonal common-room, like a font. As I was not able to cut my dinner, the old landlord with a shining bald head did it for me. This bringing us into conversation, he was so good as to entertain me with my own story - of course with the popular feature that Pumblechook was my earliest benefactor and the founder of my fortunes.
`Do you know the young man?' said I.
`Know him!' repeated the landlord. `Ever since he was - no height at all.'
`Does he ever come back to this neighbourhood?'
`Ay, he comes back,' said the landlord, `to his great friends, now and again, and gives the cold shoulder to the man that made him.'
`What man is that?'
`Him that I speak of,' said the landlord. `Mr Pumblechook.'
`Is he ungrateful to no one else?'
`No doubt he would be, if he could,' returned the landlord, `but he can't. And why? Because Pumblechook done everything for him.'
`Does Pumblechook say so?'
`Say so!' replied the landlord. `He han't no call to say so.'
`But does he say so?'
`It would turn a man's blood to white wine winegar to hear him tell of it, sir,' said the landlord.
I thought, `Yet Joe, dear Joe, you never tell of it. Long-suffering and loving Joe, you never complain. Nor you, sweet-tempered Biddy!'
`Your appetite's been touched like, by your accident,' said the landlord, glancing at the bandaged arm under my coat. `Try a tenderer bit.'
`No thank you,' I replied, turning from the table to brood over the fire. `I can eat no more. Please take it away.'
I had never been struck at so kneely, for my thanklessness to Joe, as through the brazen impostor Pumblechook. The falser he, the truer Joe; the meaner he, the nobler Joe.
My heart was deeply and most deservedly humbled as I mused over the fire for an hour or more. The striking of the clock aroused me, but not from my dejection or remorse, and I got up and had my coat fastened round my neck, and went out. I had previously sought in my pockets for the letter, that I might refer to it again, but I could not find it, and was uneasy to think that it must have been dropped in the straw of the coach. I knew very well, however, that the appointed place was the little sluice-house by the limekiln on the marshes, and the hour nine. Towards the marshes I now went straight, having no time to spare.
我口袋中装着那张支票离开了小不列颠街，直接去司琪芬小姐的那位会计哥哥那里，司琪芬小姐的那位会计哥哥又去克拉利柯公司，把克拉利柯请到我这里来，我十分满意地把这件事办妥了。自从我第一次得到通知说我有一笔遗产以来，我所做的唯一的好事，并且彻底完成了的唯一的事就是这一件。
克拉利柯就在这时告诉我，公司的事务正在持续发展，他正准备建立一处东方的小办事机构，这对于扩大公司的业务范围来说是十分必要的；他说如今赫伯特已是新合伙人，所以可被派到那里主持分支机构的业务。我这才意识到我无论如何也得和我的朋友赫伯特分手了，尽管我自己还有许多未了之事。现在我才确实感到仿佛我最后的锚也已开始松动，不久海上的风浪就会把我冲走。
不过，我刚才所做的事会带来一种回报性的愉快，今晚赫伯特回来一定会告诉我事情的发展，他不会想到这些对我来说全然已不是新闻了。他还会描述他的幻想，说他将带着克拉娜·巴莱到那《天方夜谭》中的国度去，以后我也会参加他们的行列；我认为他还会说我会带上一队骆驼，大家沿着尼罗河，观光各式各样的奇闻古迹。从我这方面来看，在他的那些光辉的前景之中，我难有成功的希望，但我感到赫伯特却有飞黄腾达的可能。至于那位比尔·巴莱老头，只要他坚持喝胡椒加朗姆酒，他女儿很快便将走运而富裕。
时日不待，又进入三月。我的左臂虽然没有出现恶化的现象，但也只能任其自然，听其发展，至今我还不能穿上外套。我右臂的恢复已有些起色，虽然留下些伤疤，但使唤起来倒也方便自如。
一个星期一的早晨，赫伯特和我正在进早餐，我接到一封温米克从邮局寄来的信，信中写着：
“伍尔华斯。此信读后焚毁。本星期上半月，如星期三，如感到可试一下你的计划，便可以进行。立即销毁。”
我把信给赫伯特看，然后便把它丢进火炉。我们一记熟信中的内容便开始考虑该怎么办。当然，我被烧伤的两臂无法划船，这是眼前的重要问题。
“我想了一次又一次，”赫伯特说道，“有了个好主意。我们用不着请一个泰晤士河上的船夫，不妨叫斯塔特普来帮忙。他不仅是个好人，而且又是个熟练的桨手。他对我们不错，有热情，又诚实。”
其实我也不止一次地想到过他。
“赫伯特，你准备让他知道多少情况呢？”
“必须让他知道得越少越好。他会想到这只不过是一件荒唐怪事，不过要严守秘密。等到那个早晨一到，再告诉他有一件紧急的事，你要把普鲁威斯送上船准备出国。你同他一起去吗？”
“当然一起去。”
“去到哪里？”
这个问题对我说来已经有过许多次焦急的考虑，至于地点，无论去到哪个港口都无关紧要，汉堡也好，鹿特丹也好，安特卫普也好，哪里都可以，只要出了英国就行。至于外国船只，只要我们遇上，肯带我们走就行。我一直在心中盘算，他上了小船，沿河而下，最好要划过格里夫森，因为这是一处多事地点，只要被怀疑，就会遭到搜寻和盘查。我又注意到外国船只总是在水位高的时候离开伦敦，所以我们的计划是在前一天退潮的时候下水出发，然后把船停舶在一处僻静的地方，等待一条驶来的外国船。无论我们停在什么地方，只要事先做好调查，外国轮船出现的时间是可以计算得差不多的。
赫伯特同意所有这些考虑，所以一吃过早饭我们就出发，开始我们的调查。我们发现有一艘驶往汉堡的轮船，这非常适合于我们的目的。我们的指望也就放在这艘船上了。不过，我们也记下了其他即将在同一个潮期离开伦敦的外国船只，还记下了每一条船的结构和颜色。然后，我们便分开几个小时，各办各的事。我立刻去筹备办理必要的出国护照及有关证件；赫伯特则到斯塔特普住的地方去看他。我们两人所办的事都没有遇到阻碍，在下午一点钟时我们又见面了，相互报告自己完成的事。至于我，已把护照等证件办妥，赫伯特已见到了斯塔特普，他是十分愿意参加这次行动的。
我们决定由他们两个人划桨，由我来掌舵，我们的保护人坐在舱内，大家都必须保持安静。至于速度不是主要问题，只要缓缓而行就已足够。我们还商议定，赫伯特晚上先到磨坊河滨去，然后再回来吃晚饭；而明天，星期二，他晚上便不再去那里了；他得让普鲁威斯做好准备，叫他在星期三一看到我们的小船驶近，便去到房屋附近的码头上，但不必去得过早。一切都已安排就绪，星期一晚上联系过后，和他的来往便告暂停，此后不和他做任何方式的接触，专等我们带他上船的日子。
我们两人充分讨论过防卫措施，我才回家。
我用钥匙打开住房外面的一道门时，便发现信箱中有一封信，是直接写给我的。这封信给弄得很脏，虽然文理并非不通顺。这一定是打发人送来的（自然是在我出去时送来的），信的内容如下：
“今夜或明夜九时，如果你不害怕来到往昔的沼泽地，来到石灰窑附近的水闸小屋，你就来一次。如果你想知道关于你伯父普鲁威斯的情况，你就得来，什么人也不要告诉，也不要延误时间。你必须独自来。来时要携带此信。”
我已是心事重重，负担本来够重了，现在又接到这封奇怪的信件。我现在该怎么办，自己一点也不知道。更糟糕的是我必须马上做出决定，否则就要赶不上下午出发的驿车，也就不能当晚赶到目的地。我想明天晚上我是去不成的，因为距出逃的日子太近。再说，就我看来，信里答应提供的一些情况也许和出逃有重大关系。
即使我有充分的时间来考虑，我相信我还是会去的。当时几乎再没有时间容我细想，我表上的指针告诉我驿车半小时后便要出发，我毅然地决定，去。如果不是信中提到我的普鲁威斯伯父的话，我是肯定不会去的。因为温米克的来信，以及一个上午的奔波筹划，再加上一提普鲁威斯伯父，我就非去不可了。
在如此惊慌不定的情况下，要想弄清任何一封信的具体内容是非常困难的，我不得不一次又一次地读这封神秘的信，然后在心中才机械地记住要保守秘密这条指令。于是我又以同样机械的方式遵守这条指令，用铅笔写了个条子给赫伯特，告诉他我不久即将远行，不知道这次出走需要多长时间才能返回，所以我决定去看望郝维仙小姐一次，看看她的烧伤情况，去虽匆忙，但很快即返。所剩时间有限，当时只能披上大衣，锁上房门，穿小路捷径去到驿站。如果当时我乘上出租马车从大路去驿站，我就会赶不上驿车，失去此行的机会。幸亏走了小路，到驿站时，驿车刚从院子中驶出，我得以登上了马车。等我从匆忙中清醒过来，才发现我是车厢中唯一的乘客，车中堆着干草，我坐在车上颠簸前进，干草一直深埋至膝盖。
自从接到了这封信，我实在感到自己有失常态。我整个上午已经忙得蒙头转向，这封信又把我给弄得迷里迷糊。上午本来就到处奔波、焦急不安，因为长久以来在焦躁中等待温米克的信，可他的信来了，却又使我惊慌不定。而此刻，我十分奇怪，自己怎么又坐上了马车，真怀疑自己是不是有道理作此一行。我考虑着现在是不是该立刻下车再走回去，心中思忖着怎么能相信这封匿名信件。简而言之，我心中涌起了各种各样的矛盾思绪，弄得我犹豫不定。我想大部分匆忙办事的人都是如此。而这封提及到普鲁威斯的信又有无比的优势。我前思后想，其实我已经前思后想过了，只是我自己没有感觉到；我前思后想着，万一由于我没有去，而普鲁威斯却因此遇到大难，我怎么能原谅自己呢！
在夜幕降临时刻马车才驶进镇。这次旅行令我感到既漫长又索然无味，坐在车厢中什么也看不见，因为我受伤而行动不便，又不能爬到外面的车顶上去。我不想住进蓝野猪饭店，便去到镇里一家没有什么名气的旅社，订下了晚餐。在他们做饭的时候我乘便去到沙提斯宅邸打探郝维仙小姐的病情。她病情仍旧较重，虽然比原来已有好转。
我住的这家旅社是一所古老教堂的一个部分，我正在用餐的这个八角形餐室就像一个洗礼时用的圣水盘。我的伤手不能用刀切菜，头顶秃得发亮的老店主便过来帮我切。我们借机就攀谈起来，他对我十分友善，用我的故事作为款待我的谈话资料，也就是那个人所皆知的传闻，即说我之所以直上青云，多亏了彭波契克，我最早的恩主和我幸运的奠基人。
“你认识这位年轻人吗？”我问道。
“认识他，”店主说道，“在他还没有桌子高时我就认识他了。”
“他回过他的家乡吗？”
“嗯，”店主答道，“他时常回来看望他的好朋友，而对栽培他的人却很冷淡，不予理睬。”
“那个栽培他的人是谁？”
“那个人我已经说过了，”店主答道，“就是彭波契克先生。”
“那么那个你说的年轻人还对其他什么人忘恩负义吗？”
“那是当然的，只要可能，他就会忘恩负义的，”店主答道，“不过他不可能办到，至于理由嘛，因为彭波契克就是一手栽培他的人。”
“这都是彭波契克说的？”
“他说的！”店主答道，“这还用得着他说？”
“可是究竟他说了吗？”
“先生，要听他来说这件事，一个人的血色都会从红变成白呢！”店主说道。
这时我心中思忖：“可是乔，亲爱的乔是不会这么说的。长期受苦的、可爱的乔，你从来没有发过牢骚。还有你，脾气温和的毕蒂也不会这么说。”
“看来你遇上了事故，连胃口也不好了，”店主望了我大衣下面露出的扎了绷带的手臂一眼，说道，“那么你就吃一些嫩的吧。”
“不用了，谢谢你，”我答道，同时转过身去对着炉火沉思起来，“我不要吃了，请把这些拿走吧。”
这个无耻的骗子彭波契克却使我联想到了乔，我对他却真是忘恩负义，我从来没有像今天这样沉痛地感到我对他是多么忘恩负义。彭波契克虚伪无耻，而乔却诚实可信；彭波契克是卑鄙小人，而乔却是高贵君子。
我面对着火炉沉思了有一个多小时，心情颇为沉重，感到一切都是我自作自受。这时，响起的钟声使我从沉思中惊醒，然而我仍然垂头丧气，悔恨无比。于是我站起身来，把大衣领子围着脖子扎好，便走出旅社。离开之前我搜索了身上的几个口袋，寻找那封信想再琢磨一下，可是哪里也找不到，因此心中很感不安，以为这信一定丢在驿车的稻草之中了。不过，对于这约定的地点我是很熟悉的，就在沼泽地上石灰窑附近的水闸小屋，约定的时间是九时整，现在已没有时间耽搁，我便一直向沼泽地走去。
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